


Dissolve

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: A little, Angst, Carl Grimes Dies, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rick doesn't die, somehow this ended up being romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-04-13 19:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Negan finds Rick under that tree, where he's lying blood soaked and grieving, just as he finally falls apart.[Negan and Rick get progressively closer after Carl's death]





	1. Under the Old Oak Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole.
> 
> I haven't watched season eight btw. I don't have access to it but I did watch some clips on youtube.
> 
> https://fluffinson.tumblr.com/ find me on tumblr just tumblin'

 

 

 

 

 

_Fathers are supposed to protect their sons._

 

 

 

He's been a snapping dog fueled by a single, dense point of cold grief and rage. And Rick figures he has been doing a pretty good job of keeping it alive. Until now.

Until he's propped up against a tree and he looks down and there's blood where Carl's wound had been. Rick can't help thinking, 'good' and 'it should have been this way from the start'. He's so numb he's sure he's on his way out.

Which is when Negan approaches. Something in Rick _seethes_ uncontrollably.

It takes Rick a moment to register that the low growl is emanating from him. Negan doesn't look intimidated for a second. Expression tense and displeased.

"Hey there cowboy." He says cautiously as he crouches down and reaches for Rick's waist.

" _Fuck.You._ " Rick hisses back, voice hacking and gritty and barely there, body suddenly trembling forward as if daring Negan to touch him. Like Rick just needs the right incentive to go off.

Negan gets the message and backs off. Rick's suddenly so angry he starts to violently shake. He really can't help it.

"Shh shhh. Calm down now." Negan says without any trace of his usual humor. He looks a little pale but Rick doesn't care to notice.

Negan reaches for him again and Rick lunges - body a tense, stiff, bruised mass - and manages to knock him backwards and be on top for a second before Negan rolls them. Negan's angry then, Rick can see it in his face and Rick's _glad_.

"Fucking _fine_. You uncivilized little shit. I tried to be reasonable but no - you..." Negan is shaking his head, huffing in angry disbelief as he pins Rick down with his body weight. Uses strong hands to bind and injure. Crushes him into the dirt.

It's rough, and Rick presses into it.

" _Fuck.You._ " he spits again, and he's still trembling. He doesn't wonder if it's the blood loss or the anger. Rick knows it's the anger, it feels so great and jagged inside him he can barely contain it. Knows it's going to explode it's way out.

"Oh I'd love to." Negan says, and rocks his hips down without any real intention. He looks ashen, suddenly though, like he's only playing a part. "You won't make it back to Michonne, Rick."

Negan pets a hand down the side of Rick's face. Rick snaps his teeth at it.

"You're dying." Negan says, like he's only just acknowledged the fact, and immediately and gingerly lifts himself off.

Rick's hands scramble after him, finally getting a firm grip and pulling downward with all his strength. Rick gets a fist in his face for his troubles and a bruising grip on his arm.

"Why was I ever scared of you?" Rick spits out, measured and bitter and with a hint of pain filled amusement. They're looking in each other's eyes then.

"You still should be." Negan says, disdained but without any real heat.

Rick's been inoculated against this last horror.

He twists against Negan's grip on him. Thrashes and knocks them both off balance. Negan wrestles him until he's lying still and breathless against the ground.

"There is still a fucking _lot_ I could do to you Rick. Before you die. And after, to the people you love." Negan whispers darkly.

"I failed as a father. Carl's dead because of me. My shit decisions have cost him his life." Rick spits, voice hard, repeating Negan's words.

He doesn't expect the man's brow to fall, for his adam's apple to bob with emotion.

"I didn't mean that Rick."

And doesn't Negan get it? Rick's sure he's the only one who does. Everyone else only looks like they're sorry for him as if they don't realize the role he played in his son's death.

Rick's not angry at Negan, he's angry at himself.

"I need to hear it." Rick says, steely and low, "Tell me."

"I'm not telling a dying man that shit. It....it isn't true." Negan's voice cracks on the last word, and he goes to pull away - front all messy with blood now - but Rick holds him in place. Implores Negan with his eyes.

"I need to hear it." Rick says again, but desperate and whimpering, he can hardly recognize himself " _Tell me_."

"It's not true." Negan restates.

Rick isn't tempering his expression.

"...all this time and you choose now to - to look at me like that. Like I kicked your puppy. Like I _betrayed_ you." Negan's eyes rove Rick's face, taking in every subtlety, "Aw, jeez. Don't cry Rick."

Rick hadn't realized he was. The sudden knowledge startles him. A loud wailing cry breaks the air then, and it takes Rick a long time to realize it's himself.

Negan's whispering a litany of curses under his breath but he manages to get them both sitting. Puts Rick's back to the tree even though Rick is difficult, is hunched over with his face buried in his hands.

Negan has nothing to say to that. There is nothing he can say. He wraps his arms around the unresistant mass of Rick.

He rocks them as Rick cries.

Eventually though, when Rick's cries peter out due to exhaustion and blood loss, Negan settles them both against the tree. Tries to make Rick comfortable.

"You're crying." Rick's small, abused voice whispers when his red rimmed eyes finally glance up to take Negan in.

Rick's pale faced, but he isn't disoriented. His eyes are still sharp and perceptive.

"I'm gonna get a look and see if there's anything to make you more comfortable." Negan hedges, and finally brings his hands to the hem of Rick's shirt.

Negan's expecting a putrid mass of infected wound. Regrets making them all coat their weapons in poison even as he knows he'd do it again. That he'd have to.

That isn't what he finds.

He sits up with a bark of laughter.

Rick doesn't startle. Negan has to remind himself Rick isn't exactly in good shape.

"Eugene stabbed you." Negan says, like that explains everything. And really it does.

It had been a surprise. And Negan is furious at the betrayal - Eugene has wanted them all to think Rick would scamper off and die a slow death when really the clean, clinical stab wound would only hinder the Alexandrian. Negan's betrayal is offset sharply by an unwelcome relief. Negan's conflicted. Strategically he should do a lot of things. A lot of things he doesn't want to do and now that it's come time to do them he finds he can't.

Rick obviously hadn't been privy to Eugene's plan or he'd never had crawled off to die alone.

Eugene hadn't counted on Negan staying with him for the end.

Negan strips off his jacket, his shirt as Rick watches dumbly, without much interest. Negan uses the cleanest part to pack against Rick's waist.

Then Negan uses his walkie to get his men to bring him Eugene.

Before they come though, Negan once again turns to Rick, as he fiddles with the bandages and makes sure they're tight.

"I didn't kill those trash people you know." He wants Rick to understand that. "I would never - people are a resource. Simon went rogue. That's no excuse - but -"

Rick only eyes him wearily. As if he doesn't care now that the anger is drained out of him.

Apathy is a danger too.

"I can save everyone." Negan promises.

"You can't." Rick says, quietly.

"I can save you."

Rick just shakes his head, slow and dream like.

Rick's shit decisions have got them here, is the way Negan sees it. But he knows he shouldn't have said that about Carl - who makes his own choices. He shouldn't have been using it as another power play to control Rick, but it's difficult when he can see just how easily Rick submitting will make the man _safe_.

"What I said - " Negan starts.

"Stop." Rick says once, voice weak but delivery firm.

And Negan does.

Rick, despite himself, startles when he sees Eugene approach. 

"Clever, Eugene." Negan intones dryly, making his displeasure known as Eugene folds in on himself in fear. "Take him back. I'm declaring a ceasefire until we negotiate. Me and the boys will be by soon."

Before Rick and Eugene hobble out of sight though, Negan calls once more to Rick.

"You said Carl wrote us letters."

He doesn't get a response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  _No, they're supposed to love them. Just love.  
_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Make Yourself Comfortable

 

 

 

The negotiations, as it turns out, take place at Hilltop, just outside the gate.

The Widow - and isn't that just Negan's luck - takes point. There's a man with a beard, Jesus - Negan is informed, that sits next to her. Calms her with his presence. _King_ Ezekiel is there and, of course, Rick but he's a pale imitation of himself. He's there for show and nothing else.

"Rick, looking good since the last time I've seen you." Negan says smartly.

"Why should we hear anything you have to say." Maggie says grimly.

"I have sharpshooters of my own there, little Lady." Negan warns.

"You killed all of Jadis' people."

"I know you may not believe this. But that was not me. Trust me, I'm dealing with it internally." Negan's loathe to admit he has a weak link in his chain but if anything, now is the time for exposition. It's something that might possibly help him seal the deal.

"You know me," he continues, "I don't do mass executions."

Jesus has to reach out and grab her arm at that, with how tightly she clenches her fists.

"And Seaside?" Ezekiel asks, "What say you of them?"

"Simon." Negan says shortly, "Both times."

"And you didn't see that coming?" Maggie spits. "We could kill you all. We could win this fight-"

"No, darling, you couldn't." Negan scritches at his beard then, the very picture of assurance.

"I want it to end." Rick says, and his voice is faint and colorless. He isn't looking up, and the way he's curled into himself is very near painful to see, "I want the fighting to end."

They all stiffen at the words and a silence casts over them. And who does Rick think he is anyway?

"Arat informs me you have a child." Negan pointedly ignores him.

Maggie flinches, just a little.

"My point is," Negan continues, "We all have children. Here, Alexandria, I'm sure even in Garbage town they had a few. I'm willing to concede on a couple of points. Now is your time if there ever was one."

"You die. How's that for a concession point?" Maggie's very nearly frothing at the mouth.

Negan only laughs.

"You know how many communities I got? You are just three. I have four more fresh ones mobilizing as we speak. Since your first hit. It may have taken them a while to get here but it's not long before my Hail Mary appears."

Noticeably, that causes a shift.

"Why should we believe this?" Ezekiel starts, but is immediately cut off by Jesus.

"How would making a deal with us benefit you now? It'd be smarter to wait."

"And lose all my _resources_? I think you underestimate the length I will go to in order to protect my investment, so to speak. Rick, you got anything to say here about all this? Or are you just there to look pretty?"

Until Negan draws the attention to him, it's like none of them see the man - aren't paying _attention_.

Rick clears his throat weakly, and steps forward. He meets Negan's eyes and it's like a dagger to the chest.

"You give the communities free reign with the stipulation of an agreement to even distribution should one community began to suffer. Otherwise you don't involve yourself. We collaborate on projects that will strengthen both communities."

It's surprisingly well thought out - and it's obvious by the lack of rejection it's been discussed beforehand. Negan isn't surprised, with how ragged they all look, how worn down.

He could have pushed, and he wants them to know that. But it isn't the time and generously, he recognizes that.

"Okay." Negan swings a hand in the air dramatically, "We have a dealio. _My_ stipulation is of course that the Sanctuary continues under my own authority - and that there be no freedom of movement among the communities unless sanctioned by me. At least for the first while. Likewise, the Sanctuary has suffered and as such I'll be needing a liason that we can all agree on to help keep me honest as we go through all the stock and divide it accordingly. My pick is Rick. Any objections?"

The pure quickness of agreement seems to stun them. It irks Negan as much as it pleases him. He was willing to concede a lot more. They've agreed - very nearly - to pick up from where they left off. Only Negan's agreed, more or less, to be _nice_ about it.

"No executions without a trial, from all the heads of community." Rick throws out, because even mourning and lifeless, he seems to have more sense than any of the rest of them. Or at least, he has a knack for making Negan's life difficult.

"I get the final say." Negan argues, hungry for interaction.

"No," Maggie interrupts, "it'll go down to a vote. And - we get Simon."

Negan hems and haws over that but eventually nods.

They all act like killing was a thing he'd enjoyed.

 

 

 

It's as they're all packing up to leave, both sides still leery, that Rick comes out - all the way out from under the protection proximity to Hilltop provides. Everyone watches with baited breath.

And this is _it_. The thing that makes Rick different, makes him a leader.

Negan swears he almost gets shivers.

"What brings you to my corner of the woods Rick?" Negan asks plainly.

Everyone is listening, to see if the tentative peace will hold.

"Need a ride back, thought maybe you were going my way." He says blandly.

He's still pale, sickly and looks liable to keep over any second. Strangely apathetic and unconcerned.

"I could kill you." Negan says, just to shock him.

"Do it then." Rick says.

He isn't joking, he really means it. It almost sounds like a joke though and Negan hears scoffing and something like a chuckle from his men. A release of tension.

"Well you will be my new liaison and as such, it wouldn't exactly be to my benefit to start out on bad terms."

Rick doesn't answer, just looks at him listlessly.

He falls along when Negan climbs into a truck, he hops right into the passenger seat.

It's just the two of them. And Negan feels a little unprepared. He thought it'd take more effort, more time, to be able to be in one another's presence again. He expected for Rick to take time to heal, come back when he found the strength to carry on or some such shit.

Instead he gets a grief-struck, knocked-stupid Rick. Barely clinging to the land of the living by the looks of him.

"how's-" the little angel, is what Negan was going to ask, but suddenly it seems insensitive, "...Eugene?"

"He's fine. He'll be a strong asset." Even Rick's voice is hollow.

"Bet he will."

"Could you pull over for a minute?" Rick asks.

Negan does but so do his men in the convoy behind him and somehow, seeing them, makes Rick tighten up. Makes him backtrack.

"What did you need Rick, you weren't planning on trying to assassinate me, were you? Right as we our communities made peace?"

Negan half believes that's the reason Rick has gotten into the truck with him. But the reminder of their communities must stick because Rick suddenly looks a little nauseous.

They don't say anything for the rest of the trip.

Negan drops him off at the gate, like a good prom date.

Says, "Let's do our stock independently. I'll pick you up Friday and we can verify together."

 

 

 

Negan gets home that night.

And he doesn't need to be depressed, everything's gone well. It'd shouldn't be _catching_.

He spends the night with his remaining wives who are in the mood in a gratuitous orgy of sensuality and depravement.

They celebrate. The whole sanctuary celebrates.

It feels fucking empty.

His wives stay, until they get bored and leave.

Sometimes - most of the time, Negan wishes he can just leave too. But there's no escaping himself.

Rick's wan face sticks in his mind.

Rick's made wrong choices and it's cost him. Negan isn't going to do the same. It may seem like he holds everything so tightly in his fist but it isn't for the sake of ownership - it's for the sake of protection.

Negan worries the small amount of freedom he's granted is going to somehow blow up in his face.

He's worried he's made the wrong choice.

Not for the first time, he wonders what it is about Rick's that has bewitched him to this extent. To go against what he knows.

He thinks about it until daybreak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Fridays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am looking for a beta to help me to repost Therein Lies....I can pay you in begging and compliments?
> 
> And as if that weren't enough. Is any one interested in a fic exchange? Maybe a one shot for a one shot based on prompts or something?

 

 

 

 

The breeze Friday morning feels fresh somehow.  Like a new beginning. If that isn't a load of shit Negan doesn't know what is. Still, he's all freshly showered with a splash of cologne.

It's inventory day.

And Rick - sweet, _sweet_ Rick - is going to be spending the day at his side.

Negan sure as shit isn't going to make the same mistake as that first time. He isn't going to press, isn't going to dominate. He's gonna be as sweet as sugar, make things go right.

The thought of Carl is like ashes in his mouth.

Negan thinks, neither of them want to go there.

 

 

 

When they pull up on Alexandria the weary guards signal from their posts but from that to the gate opening is unusually slow.

Rick of course is waiting on the other side.

Negan wishes he could say the man looked like shit. Thin, pale face with big, dark eyes. Black circles beneath and red rimmed. Really, any Rick is a good looking Rick. It feels wrong to appreciate the man's beauty in the context of _Carl_.

Everything's felt wrong since that day in the hospital with Lucille.

But if Negan's honest, everything was wrong even before. Maybe always.

He knows who he is.

Mercy is just a tool.

" _Rick_." Negan purrs, delighting in the way the man pulls back uncomfortably at the over familiar greeting. It's something, at least.

Because his expression is dead. Just gone, like he isn't feeling anything. Like his soul is gone.

If anything that only feels like a challenge on Negan's end.

"I did the inventory, like you asked."

"Did you now?" It's easy to be blasé and breezy now that Negan is running the show again.

But there's something else there, that he isn't wanting to come through. Rick's probably too deep in despair to notice anyway. The something else is - Negan hesitates to call it tenderness.

"Wrote it down." Rick explains sparsely, voice scratchy and dry.

"Sure. Why don't we take a walk and you can show me?" At this point, Negan's unsure which of them is humoring the other. But it has the intended effect.

Him and Rick alone, walking through the streets of Alexandria. Passing from sight through all its nooks and crannies. Negan doesn't even fucking realize until the moment is upon them.

Until Rick is tripping him up, stopping so suddenly that Negan smacks into him from behind.

Rick turns, places his hands on Negan's chest and pushes him back sharply. Then he watches to see what Negan will do.

"What the fuck Rick?" Negan exhales in something like amusement.

Rick's eyes follow him as he paces forward. Big, dark, hurt things.

Humans just get like that, when they're hurt. And Negan might have been trying to skeeve Rick out when he'd made the connection between death and sex with the widow but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

"You empty inside Rick? You need some filling up?" Negan speaks lowly. Rick doesn't answer, pretends he doesn't hear. After everything, the 'holier than thou' attitude still rankles Negan. He's tempted to make Rick _ask_ for it but the man seems to be at his limits already.

They're in a field just behind an empty house. Negan could fuck him right here.

Testing, Rick reaches out and pushes Negan again, who lets himself be moved a little. Chuckles deeply when it causes Rick to swallow thickly.

"Yeah, you do." Negan continues, and circles around him.

In the apocalypse all that matters is pleasure from one moment to the next. Beyond the scope of that, everything is shit anyway.

When Negan steps closer Rick pushes him again, and Negan pushes back.

Like anything involving the two of them, it quickly devolves.

Very soon, they're in the grass, Rick writhing beneath Negan. Rick gets a punch in before Negan throws Rick's hands up and pins them to the ground.

"You fucking like it rough Rick?" Negan goads, groaning a little when Rick bucks up.

He lets go of the man's hands, to run his fingers down the side of him. Rick tugs one big paw back up though, closes Negan's hand around his own throat.

Negan _squeezes_.

"Harder." Rick croaks out, so tiny, when Negan finally lets up.

Negan's throbbing in his jeans.

"Feel that Rick? Gonna split you in half."

It's apparent, immediately, that Rick does feel that. Only he rears back at it, looks shaky, eyes delicate and filling with tears.

Negan rocks back on his heels to give him some space.

Rick coughs, rubs his throat as he sits up. Then stares at Negan, eyes wide. It occurs to Negan then that Rick's a little grief mad. Normal people might be looking for a release, for anything to take their minds off the suffering. But as Negan's been postulating all along. Rick is special.

He can't ask for it. Can't allow himself to even think of asking for it. More likely, Rick doesn't even know what he needs. Instead he has some twisted up idea.

"So...what, Rick? You thought me and you were gonna hide behind the lane and play street fighters?" Negan already knows the answer, except - Rick hadn't been doing all that much fighting.

He wants to hurt.

"I mean," Negan continues, a little spurned at the assumption, "What kind of sick fuck do you think I am? That I'd beat on you..."

More than likely, Negan guesses, Rick was looking for just anyone.

"We..." Rick begins, haltingly chokes on the words before clearing his throat, "We can... _do_ that. If that's what it takes."

And that - _that_ \- makes Negan really angry. He chuckles and Rick flinches back at the ugliness in it.

"Yeah fucking right." Negan dismisses in a sneer.

Rick's expression goes tight with anger.

"Fine then." He says shortly, jerkily standing up, "I'll find someone else."

The words chill Negan to his core.

They stare at each other for a moment before Rick turns to leave.

Negan reaches out and grabs him, quite suddenly. Manhandles him to beside the house and pushes him into aging siding.

Smacks him sharply across the face.

It leaves a red, stinging imprint that will likely be there for the whole visit.

"Okay." Negan says, "How often do you need it?"

He shouldn't be doing this. He knows that.

"Just Fridays aren't good enough." Rick says.

Rick is laboring under a misapprehension.

"When I said you were the liaison Rick, I didn't mean for just Alexandria. It's for the whole region." Negan set it up that way, so that they'd be seeing a lot of each other.

So maybe Rick would come around. Negan isn't expecting Rick to kiss his ass or praise him, but he finds himself pressing Rick more and more for a little understanding.

"You're coming with me for the week."

Rick steels his jaw like he's thinking about it, like it's actually a choice, but of course it's really not. It's already been decided. He gives a small nod and Negan release him at that.

"Now is that enough for today, or do you need some more?" He asks gruffly.

Rick looks subdued by the words, almost shameful. He tips his head down and Negan has to strain to hear him.

He says, "More."

 

 

 

By the time they finish the inventory Rick has a new shiner. He's probably got the shape of a boot on his stomach and thighs too. The thing is, Negan is good at gauging how much is _just enough_. He can make it hurt, with minimal damage.

He's a little disgusted with himself, and a little disgusted with Rick. The whole thing turns his stomach. The thing that keeps him going though is the thought of Rick finding someone else.

Negan is his quintessential enemy. But for some reason, Rick is under his skin. Implacable and unmoving.

If there were someone that cared for the man less...

Well, if Negan's been a little rough the first time it's so that Rick doesn't get any ideas of looking elsewhere.

"I have to pack." Rick says, and no one gives his roughed up appearance a second glance.

"Right." Negan says. Notices Rick doesn't say anything about making arrangements for Judith.

It brings to mind Samurai Chick as well, and her noticeable absence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Because it hurts

 

 

 

The first night is spent on the road.

Rick, with his listlessness and blank eyes, doesn't seem to have any expectation of returning to the Sanctuary.

"We'll get the Sanctuary last." Negan explains anyway, walking them to a van a few vehicles down.

The men are already starting a fire, some of them turning in to catch some shut eye before their watches.

Rick is clutching paperwork. A broken clipboard with sheets of Alexandria's inventory, blank sheets for the other communities.

"What happened to the binder?" Negan asks, remembering how he'd menaced Rick with it when they'd first rounded up their guns.

Rick doesn't answer though, just turns his head away.

"Well fucking fuck. Don't talk then." Negan spouts, just to say something.

Rick's quiet disturbs him.

Negan pulls the back of the van open - and he was very careful _not_ to choose an RV - and reveals their sleeping arrangements. Two single mattresses scavenged from cots, on opposite sides of each other.

It'd been a funny idea when Negan had first thought of it. To put himself so close and Rick unable to kill him no matter how vulnerable he was.

"I suggest you get some sleep, Rick." he says, is only mildly surprised when Rick doesn't follow him up, "There a problem, _Rick_?"

Rick clambers up shortly.

Fumbles at his clothes when Negan starts undressing.

It's strange, facing each other in their underthings. Boxers and wife beaters.

"Goodnight." Negan says, more out of habit than anything.

It's rude as fuck that Rick doesn't answer back.

 

 

 

The next morning at least, Rick is partially back. He's sad and grief stricken but also bitter. Expression determined.

He studies the inventory as they drive.

"I don't know how you managed it but it looks like - from these estimates - that the Sanctuary is going to be coming out on top."

"Well how do you figure that Rick?"

He'd given Rick the figures, and even those were conservative. Trust Rick to parse it out almost immediately.

"We'll be giving you guys a lot more even than we would have for tribute."

"Well, that was the agreement wasn't it? The hardest hit community benefiting from the resources of its allies?" Negan knew none of them had been expecting that - for the Sanctuary to be the worst off.

All because of Rick and his merry band of pricks.

He tried not to let it upset him. They were going to be fixing that after all. And Rick...had suffered more than enough.

He was still bruised, eye a light purple setting into green.

Rick gave him a look Negan couldn't decipher.

"Clever." he said without inflection.

"I'm clever as _shit_ Rick." Negan goaded a little.

Rick shifted in his seat.

They drove a few more miles, Rick uncomfortable and agitated, before he finally got the nerve to say anything.

"Are we gonna be alone today?" Rick asked.

 _Already?_ is what Negan was thinking, with a frown.

"Sure Rick." He said instead.

 

 

 

What Negan needed was to show Rick that his system could work. That it was best for everyone. That just maybe Negan wasn't the monster under the bed.

It had been impossible. After Glenn and Abraham. Negan secretly cursed their names.

Negan had basically bent Rick over and gone to town - so to speak - before he'd realized that maybe a soft touch would have been better - that he maybe wanted Rick warming his bed - so to speak. Bed being a metaphor for leadership.

And Negan was shit at analogies.

Alexandria wouldn't give him up. The Kingdom, Oceanside, Hilltop. All of them revered the man.

Even after Negan had...

And furthermore, there was compassion for his mourning. Acceptance for their situation which hadn't been present the first time.

They acted like Rick had actually done something for them.

Didn't recognize it was all Negan _allowing_ it.

But that was okay. All Negan needed was for Rick to recognize the fact.

 

 

 

Alone is that night, at the Kingdom, when everyone else is tucked into their beds.

Rick's expression is hard, lips a thin line.

He's been like that ever since they'd arrived.

Even King Ezekiel had been more welcoming. Resigned, saddened by the loss of his badass tiger, but accepting. Rick, for his part, had barely acknowledged his old friend.

Rick looks on edge, knuckles white.

They're both still dressed at least. Because Negan isn't doing this in his pajamas.

Rick is in his room, and not the other way around.

"You need it before bed, huh? This like a good jerk to you? A nice, firm dick stroking? Is that it?" Negan says.

Rick always flinches away from his vulgarity, it's part of the man's prim charm.

He flinches this time too.

It's welcome, a familiar habit. Negan makes a note of it.

Then tension is palpable. Or at least Negan thinks so.

He grabs Rick by the neck, under his chin, and walks him backward into the nearest wall.

He squeezes until Rick gasps. Pulls him forward and slams his head back, just enough for him to see stars.

Rick sighs into it and Negan pulls back, dismayed.

 

 

 

Rick leaves Negan's quarters - the best the Kingdom has to offer - with a limp.

Negan hadn't meant to do that. He'd pushed and Rick had gone down wrong.

There's only so long he can beat the shit out of the man. It's only been two days.

Negan had told Rick he was clever, and now he needs to prove it.

 

 

 

He has nothing when he wakes up. No idea how to stop the crazy train he's become the conductor of.

But - low and behold.

Rick limps to breakfast, color in his cheeks, bruised like bad fruit, grieving, but he looks at Negan disdainfully. Looks a little shamed.

"You don't need to look at me like that." He hisses, "I won't need it today."

They do the inventory, all business.

Rick is tapping into his leadership qualities, with some effort. He even exchanges a few words with the King himself.

He doesn't speak to Negan, at all, as much as he can help it.

Negan hangs back and lets it happen.

The spitting anger is noticeably absent.

He wonders privately about the letters. 

It's probably going to be a long time, if ever, before Rick comes around to giving Negan the correspondence.

It's probably just a big 'Fuck you' anyway. A middle finger drawn by a middle schooler.

The thought makes Negan feel sad himself.

 

 

 

"Goodnight." Rick says shortly, that night, when they part.

"Goodnight Rick." Negan says, feels strange about it.

It's possibly the only time they've felt as equals without being in conflict. Without Negan pressing his will onto the man.

It's not lost on him that Rick is wearing his bruises.

He watches him go with something like hunger.

But that's not exactly a new one. And it sucks when it takes a nosedive back into sad.

It isn't Negan's loss, and he shouldn't be feeling it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
